Psnail

The addled love-child of two Woodstocking Gastropods, Circuitous Psnail is one precocious mollusk! While slugging through Marin County at an impressionably age - Psnail stumbled into a fungal jungle and went off the map. Three days later, authorities apprehended a nude and disoriented Circuitous Psnail, sliming logarithmic spirals around Golden Gate Park, shouting, "Now we're sliming, lads! Now we're REALLY fucking sliming!" His shell was found the next day 250 miles south by California State Highway Patrol. Once he recovered, Psnail became born again, worshiping an omnipotent agent known as God Mach II - a creature Psnail insists has mastered time travel, elective plastic surgery, and ultra-modern Indonesian cuisine. Ostensibly capable of assuming the form of either a frightened spider or two full pickle jars, reports of God Mach II's actual existence are purely speculative. Besides an obviously fragile psyche, Psnail's lubricating mucus-trail had developed an other-worldly hue, as well as potent psychoactive properties. The euphoric hallucination, induced permanently in Psnail, is transferable to other creatures through brief exposure to, or ingestion of, Psnail's trail.